Of 3D Films and other things.

Really? Okay then...

Okay, I was just wandering about on youtube, (I'm sure you know how it goes) when I ran across a review of Jurassic Park in 3D.

Now I'm not one to say things like, "OH EVIL CORPERATION MAKING MORE MONEY! FOR SHAME!" Because really, they (whoever "they" are) have every right to do whatever they want with what they own.

But it got me thinking, why? Specifically, why rerelease it in 3D? Can't you just release it again in 2D? The way it was made?

Granted I know that there is a market for 3D films, but really it's just a fad at the moment, and I think those of us who are old enough can safely say that we have been here before.

Now I can't say for certain when this latest trend came in for making every film under the sun in 3D but I am starting to get annoyed by it, seriously fuckin' annoyed. I happen to be on the lower end of the poverty line personally, and as a result, going to movies are a treat, and I love cinema. I love watching worlds develop before my eyes and seeing the point of view that the creators are trying to bring across to me. Not neccicarially that I only watch fantasy films because, who only watches one genre. No I just love it when a film is so complete in its perfection that I feel for the characters and I want to explore the world with them.

Jurassic Park had all of that in spades, including the great special effects, great acting, great plot it really was one of those perfect films, one I remember fondly watching in the theater as a little kid. Now it is back in theaters in 3D!

Fuck you for this.

3D, the most eyeball straining, headache inducing form of film making that has ever been conceived by mankind.

I'm not saying that I completely hate it, so don't take it as such. But if there is one thing that I can't stand, it's altering films.

For example, editing classic movies for today's audience by removing guns and replacing them with walkie talkies.
Or the way that George Lucas likes to add a billion things to the back grounds of his older films to make it look more alive or today. In my opinion it makes it look like someone with ADHD reshot the film so that other people that can't focus can actually stick around to watch the epic saga just to play where's waldo with the background.

Yes, we get it. Guns are bad, smoking is bad, drugs are bad, violence is bad. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN TAKE IT AWAY FROM OLD FILMS!

The worst offenders for this crime against cinema are Disney, and Universal. (yeah I know Lucasfilm is one of them, but Disney owns that now too so...)

"But Phoenix?" you might be asking in your whiny voice, "What does all that have to do with 3D films?"

Good question sir, or madam because I can't see you from here. What it has to do with it is this, Hollywood in general seems to have been, lacking in the good movies department, and as a result have turned to the 3D gimmick to get buts in their seats.

And yes, we've been here before, and will likely be here again. Anyone else remember the previous fad? Or should I say still ongoing previous fad? Remaking old films or making a billion sequels to films that were popular? Yeah that was the old gimmick, the new gimmick is if it's in 3D you will go because you can't have that sweet sweet 3D at home. Unless you are really wealthy and can..

Now the latest LATEST gimmick in the field of "Shit video games and TV are doing better than us, what do we do now?" world, is to simply rerelease films you know and love back into theaters in that glorious 3D!

Hollywood has it made in the shade.

Now do you see the problem? Can you smell it in the air? Can you feel it in the tingle down your spine?

Hollywood got lazy. Super fucking lazy. More lazy than a fat kid at the end of the cookie factory conveyor belt. The effort is gone, why make something great when you can make something ok and make money off of it? Or better still, why make anything at all when you can run old films through a supercomputer to fake in 3D?


And it does not work. I can understand doing this with a 3D animated film, but with a 2D traditional film? There aren't enough angles for this to work. What you wind up with are cardboard cut outs that move in 3D and can pop out of the screen in 3D, but at the end of the day, something just feels off about all this, like you are looking at a 2D film with some depth, but not enough. The actors still look like flat images.

Maybe I don't know what I am talking about, but just think about it for a few moments. Do you really want to see Star Wars Episode 1 in theaters again? Let alone in 3D?

What Is Phoenix Down?

What Is Phoenix Down?

Phoenix Down is my new blog spot, where whatever random thoughts run across my brain can be posted at any time I feel like posting them, however you should expect posts on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.

I will warn you all ahead of time that I am not the biggest ray of sunshine, I have the tendency to swear like a sailor that just got a rectal exam. I love cartoons and am a part of geek culture, specifically I am in the brony community and pride myself on my being the lone brony of Oroville CA.

Now I have been thinking to myself lately about having a blog, but I have yet to actually do anything about it, this would be my first attempt at running one, and odds are that mistakes will be made. Usually in the I have no idea what to say department.

This blog for the most part will talk about my life, and the struggles I face every day caring for my mother and searching for a job. About how I am trying to make it as someone that can at any second become homeless.

Yes, this is a blog about all that I am. Including the random thoughts that run across my brain. Perhaps some of my posts will enlighten you, perhaps shock you, some may even make you hate me.

But I do not care, this is simply my way of expressing myself, in written word. I hope you enjoy your stay here at Phoenix Down. I will see you all on Sunday.